Sunday, December 22, 2013

Idea Garage Sale: Trendy Holiday Films

I don't do Christmas, but I do not remain unaffected by its time pressures, so let's do this quick and dirty.

It's Christmas Eve. The family, complete with all its simmering resentments, incompatibilities, shared memories, new significant others, bored third generation, and disputed territory has gathered at Mom and Dad's house. The aunts and uncles have gone Christmas shopping, Grandma's minding the turkey, and the kids are following the Santa Tracker when they realize that the zombie apocalypse has begun.

Or, in the dystopian wasteland after the collapse of civilization, the struggling survivors reinvent Christmas.

Or, terrorists hijack Santa's sleigh and only the lowest elf on the totem pole is left to save Christmas. Not to mention prevent all those bombs from going down all those chimneys.

Or, the gospel Christmas story, rewritten to emphasize both the troubled love story of Joseph and Mary ("You cheated on me with God, Mary; that's a little hard to get over!") and Herod's ruthless attempt to assassinate a rival king in the making. The Wise Men will be featured, but Balthazar will only be black if they can get Will Smith for the part.

Sorry, no Hannukah flicks. That whole story about running out of oil just isn't familiar and cliched dramatic enough.

Don't worry if you don't see me here for a week or two. With any luck I'm going to be working through that plot problem in between dealing with various personal obligations. No doubt you have your own stuff to do, anyway. Happy Christmas, Merry New Year.

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