Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Freedom Day, Pride Week

(Please note that I wrote this post yesterday, and in the middle of it my internet went belly-up. So pretend the date on it is October 12. It kind of matters.)

Columbus Day is a problematical holiday for anyone conversant in American history, but October 12 is a big day for me on the calendar of personal holidays, as October 12, 2007 was my last day at a soul-sucking day job, ever. Life since then has not gone the way I anticipated, primarily due to ubiquitous health crap, but at least I live my own life and my own choices every day. And isn't that what happiness is?

This week, as I learned Monday from my morning DJ (Hot Mustard at KSYM, the local college station), is Gay Pride Week at the local community college, though you can't tell from looking at their monthly calendar. It kicked off with events for National Coming Out Day. The LBGT group spokesman Mustard interviewed spoke about planned events, and also passed on to listeners "the best advice he ever got," which was, roughly, not to come out to anybody until you were secure enough to deal with the consequences. Start with those you can trust and move to those you aren't positive will reject you only when you're strong enough to take the rejection. You have to be out to yourself before you can be out to the world.

It bugs me that such a process as "coming out" is even necessary in our society. If there's one class of information that's personal and shouldn't matter to anyone not directly involved, it's how we define ourselves sexually! You shouldn't have to worry about the consequences of holding hands in public. But we live in an imperfect world, and until people stop beating up on folks on suspicion of having the "wrong" definition, until the consequences of honesty become less dire, I guess we're stuck with it.

Personally, I've self-identified as bi for years, but it's mostly been irrelevant, as the only girl I could have been serious about was too busy experimenting with who she was to be serious back, and when I walked into love (there was no falling involved, believe me!) it happened to be with a man. Like Aral Vorkosigan, I used to be bi; now I'm monogamous; and who cares? What I write matters. Everything else is of limited interest.

Recent events in the lives of other people have caused me to review my choices this past week, and on the whole the only one I regret was ever taking a soul-sucking day job in the first place. Happiness is hard work, but nothing rewards the effort more.

Happy Freedom Day, y'all.

1 comment:

  1. Isn't it wonderful to get out of sucky job?

    It is a shame that people have to "come out." None of us should have to declare our sexual preferences. It isn't relivent to whether a person is good/bad, kind/mean etc. Those are the traits that determine who a person is.

    As for the world being imperfect...I think the world is perfect, it's humans who are imperfect.